This has been a crazy year and a half. It began in August 2010: my mother-in-law passed away suddenly of a brain aneurism; my father-in-law was left dependent and destitute and Scott and I became his caretakers; we began to drive to Huntsville once a week to take care of him and remodel his entire house and get it ready to sell; we moved him to Nashville; within 2 weeks time several marriages very close to us fell into turmoil; before we could rest from the traumas around us, my mother became ill and had to move to assisted living; all this time was during my daughter’s senior year and all that comes with that season; my daughter graduated and the day after we got home from moving her to California; my mother went into the hospital and her health began to decline rapidly; I spent 5 to 6 days a week with her for 5 months, then on January 13, 2011, my mother went to heaven.
After her funeral I came home. All was quiet. As I met with the Lord I felt Him calling me to a season of rest. I set apart days and times on my calendar that I would turn of the phones and close myself away from everything but God. When I began my season of rest, I began to seek the Lord. “So, God, what are we doing today?” The answer came back, “We’re just hanging out.” I wrestled with what this meant… do I read my Bible, do I pray, do I worship, do I intercede for others, do I fast and seek your will in ministry… what do I do?!?” His answer came gentle and unchanging, “Rest. We’re just hanging out.”
After 2 weeks of this, I began to question God: “Lord, what am I supposed to do? If I just hang out with You, my mind will wander.” “That’s ok,” He said, just lay down on the sofa in My presence and let’s hang out.” “But Lord,” I responded, “If I lay down on the sofa, I might doze off.” “That’s ok,” He said, smiling, “we’re simply hanging out together.”
Then I began to think about my godson, Garrett; he’s 7 years old. When I go to his house to visit, he comes and sits in my lap or as close to me as he can possibly get, and just remains… usually for the entirety of my visit. I realized, he has no agenda! He’s not thinking, “I am going to learn so much by sitting with Miss Denise.” He’s not strategizing how his time with me is even developing our relationship or intimacy. He just longs to be with me and as close to me as he can possibly get and he has no agenda. His agenda is love.
We, as God’s people, are guilty of taking our time with God and turning it into a time that will produce fruit in our lives or in the lives of others (especially those of us in ministry). Graham Cooke said, “You can end up with a great working relationship with God, but a lousy friendship.” So, for the past 9 weeks God and I have been hanging out! No Agenda! He wants us to know Him. He wants His sons and daughters to know His love. He longs to just hang out with us and reveal His heart to us. If that never resulted in ministry… is it enough? We know the truth that as we get to know Him we cannot contain His goodness; but what if He said I just want us to hang out from now to eternity… period. Are we satisfied? Let it be so.
At our church we have this phrase about “those who God misses most”. Typically we are referring to the lost sheep or the prodigals. But what if it’s us? What if we have become so consumed with “doing” for God, that we have missed just simply crawling into His lap just to love on Him? What if we are the ones that God misses most? May you crawl into His lap today with no agenda. I pray that as you do His love would be released over you. I pray blessings of peace and joy and healing and grace and the knowledge of Him over your heart and over your life.