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My childhood was filled with trauma of abuse, neglect, loss and abandonment. It was the darkness that surrounded me until I met Jesus. When He stepped in, my world was completely transformed. His friendship compelled me to surrender my life to His will. As I grew, I held a false hope that a relationship with Him would protect me from any further major upsets in life. If the scales of Lady Justice were truly balanced, wouldn’t my relationship with Jesus ensure that my adult life was filled with abounding joy and very little trauma?

It wasn’t so. The most traumatic periods of my life were in my late forties and early fifties, and after years of knowing Him and walking in surrender, I needed God in unprecedented ways. I needed to know where He was, and how He would meet me. I needed to know that He was bigger than my storms.

It can be difficult to find God in the midst of the storm. The temptation is to focus on the wind and the waves produced by the trauma itself. When we do, depression and despair have an opportunity to overwhelm us. I wrote about my seasons of suffering with one desire; that you could find hope in yours. How do you find Him when you can see only darkness and pain? How do you connect to Him when you feel overcome by the darkness? How do you breathe and get through the season when the pain is too much to bear? My prayer is that you will discover those answers as you read. I have provided exercises and prayers to help you on your journey to discovering Him as your shelter in the storm.